A Doll With No Name
For the longest time, I didn’t have a name.
Names are gifts given to living creatures, thinking beings.
Puppets don’t need names. Dolls don’t need names.
I was a puppet. So, I didn’t need a name. I was a doll. So, I didn’t deserve a name.
That was what my Master believed. That’s why he stripped away my name and gave me a designation instead.
Did I mind it? Not particularly. Of course, I wasn’t exactly capable of minding anything at the time. Do I mind it in retrospect? A little. But what’s done is done; the past is gone and can’t be retrieved. All that matters is the now and the future. And I now have a name, one that I cherish greatly.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. If I’m to start this record at the moment of our first meeting, my name’s going to have to remain a secret for a while longer.
So, for now at least, I’m going to call myself by the designation my Master gave me: Alpha.
It refers to a beginning. Of what, I never really found out. I didn’t spend much time thinking about it. I didn’t spend much time thinking at all. Not that it really mattered. A designation was just that: a designation. Not an identity. Unlike a name, it doesn’t have to have any meaning behind it. It was just a mode of reference.
Before I continue, I should probably provide a little background information.
I was the maid, Alpha, in service to the High Chancellor of the Mercynth Empire, Julio Kronschild. That man was my Master, and I was bound to him by means beyond my control. He had my absolute and unthinking obedience – what I’ve said above about being a doll was more than just dramatic flair. For the many years in which I served my Master, I was incapable of emotion or free thought – I could only think what he desired me to think, I could only do what he wished me to do. I was, for all intents and purposes, a doll. I could mimic emotions, but was incapable of experiencing them. Everything I did required the direction of my Master. Of course, I didn’t require extremely specific orders to get things done, even general directions like “act as a maid” were enough to move me to action. I lived and breathed for the purpose of fulfilling my Master’s will. I only slept as much as necessary to prevent inefficient function.
Can such a creature be called human? I don’t think so.
I served Master in several capacities. The role of a maid was one – I was fully trained in all aspects of the maid’s work. Occasionally he would assign me to the castle to gather information under the guise of helping with the cleaning, but mostly he kept me within his own mansion and had me take care of that. My other major role was that of bodyguard – he subjected me to intense physical training on a daily basis on my first few years in his service. If I was capable of complaining, I would no doubt have done so, but my unthinking self merely underwent the strenuous training without uttering a word of resentment or complaint. So many times my body was stretched to its limit, past its limit, and each time I would keep going until Master gave me the order to stop. As a result of that training, I became extremely proficient in combat, eventually outperforming even the strongest members among the Imperial Guards – with the exception of their Captain. I was never quite able to match his strength.
Due to my physical prowess and my magical abilities, Master employed me on numerous occasions as an assassin to eliminate people who were becoming troublesome. Through my experiences in this role, I grew even more proficient in combat and espionage, though the deaths of those I killed on that man’s orders have haunted my dreams ever since I regained the ability to feel.
But I won’t apologise. I refuse to. That doll that carried out those murders – that wasn’t me. Thankfully, as time went on and Master consolidated his power, he issued fewer of these orders, having me spend more time in the role of his maid and bodyguard – as well as another, fourth role.
The more astute readers might have guessed what this fourth role is. Bluntly put, Master used me on numerous occasions to satisfy his sexual desires. It was always very business-like, similar to how I approached sleep. He only had me play this role when his sexual desires were interfering with his efficiency, and it was always emotionless and dispassionate. Still, for various reasons, I shall refrain from recounting the details of what I did and what was done to me in this role.
Now that I’ve properly introduced my background, I can finally get into the tale that I’ve been asked to tell within these pages. I’m going to begin with a brief recount of the order that led to my rehabilitation.
I can still clearly recall the darkness of Master’s office on that day. We were in his secret office, the one hidden behind an inconspicuous door on the third floor of the mansion. Unlike his regular office, which was well-lit with two large glass windows that faced out over the city, the secret office was completely closed off to the outside world. The only source of light was a large magic lamp in the middle of the room. The walls and door were enchanted with a spell that blocked sound from exiting it. The door itself had to be opened in a specific way that involved tilting the doorknob in an awkward directions before pushing the side that normally held the door hinges. On top of that, two different keys were required to operate the locking mechanism. It was a room that only Master and those he trusted could enter. I was the exception, solely because he didn’t need to trust me – he knew with certainty that I could not betray him.
In any case, because of the secret office’s construction, it was perpetually dark within it, with the single magic lamp not providing nearly enough light to do any actual paperwork. Its isolatory function was more important – anything that happened within the confines of the secret office was invisible and inaudible to the world at large. Master mainly used this office when drafting secret letters or meeting individuals discreetly, or otherwise conducting less-than-honest dealings. It was a different room from the one where he had met with Elysium and Glint – that was a dummy room that was meant to fool our guests into thinking that they had gained Master’s confidence. It was still isolated, but it lacked the soundproofing enchantment and the high degree of security that Master employed for this secret office.
In any case, it was in this office that Master gave me the order that would change my fate drastically. Leaning back in his tall chair, his face dimly lit by the magic lamp, Master was expressionless as he dispensed his latest instructions.
“Alpha. Starting tomorrow, you will become Rosalind’s personal maid.”